What Does It Mean When Your Ex Texts You? (Plus 7 Methods to Respond)

Oct 23 2020

Figuring out what to do when your ex texts you can be hard. That single message can mean any quantity of points and if you don’t know how to decipher it, responding is not quick.

Elements like how extended ago you broke up, who produced the decision and how it ended all play a element in the actual message. Fortunately, the overall meaning and objective of the messages tends to fall into one particular of seven categories.

These days, I’ll be taking you by means of these categories and how to manage them. When you can discover to identify your ex desires, replying gets substantially a lot easier.

What does it imply when your ex texts you?

Due to the fact there’s no single answer that applies to all circumstances, we’re going to take a look at a few examples.

As you read by way of every of them beneath, you could even commence to remember times when you have received them in the past. Probably you have been oblivious to why she was texting you.

“I miss you” or “I enjoy you”

Let’s start with an effortless message to comprehend. Most typical just following a breakup, she’s letting you know that she misses the relationship and nevertheless wants to be with you.

Example: “Hi. I just wanted to see how you are performing ’cause I haven’t heard from you in a few days. It is been challenging. I nevertheless enjoy you.”

Emotions are nonetheless operating high and she’s performed away with any form of subtlety. In this circumstance, the decision as to no matter if or not you attempt for a connection again is entirely up to you.

Take some time to figure out if you are as that will dictate your response. If you do, set up a time to meet and chat about why things ended and what would will need to transform.

If you are not interested, you should really take this chance to make that clear. No will need to be cruel but communicate openly. Some thing along the lines of “Hey, I’ve just been taking some time to consider things over. Considering how items ended, I assume we’re greater off as pals.”

Modify it up to include your personal reasoning in there or maintain it generic — exactly what the message looks like is entirely up to you. So lengthy as you do not respond with an “I love you too” just to be “nice”!

Reminders of your past together

One of the hardest factors about ending a extended term connection is breaking all those habits. There are so quite a few items that remind us of our ex regularly. It could be anything from a song to a prevalent meme to the sort of milk you utilized to argue more than.

Sometimes, your ex could possibly send you a photo or message about a thing that reminded her of you. It is one particular of those ambiguous texts that make you wonder “what does it mean when an ex texts you?”

Example: “Three weeks later and I nonetheless come across myself shopping for this damn milk. I do not even like it!”

Assume of this message as a subtle version of my very first point. She misses you and is struggling with these constant reminders of your relationship. She’s messaging you about it to see if you feel the identical way.

Basically, she’s fishing for your position on whether or not you’re open to a connection once more.

Once once again, you have two solutions here. Either set up a time to sit down and go over points or let her know that you are not interested.

Replying with smaller talk only leads to a confusing gray area. If you are not interested in becoming with her, this gray region also delivers her false hope, which only makes points far more complicated.


The initial weeks right after a breakup give us a lot of time to feel. Usually, that can be the time we needed to recognize exactly where we went incorrect or how we contributed to the breakup.

If you get a regret-filled message from your ex, that type of realization is where it came from.

Example: “Hey, I’ve been pondering a lot about our relationship these final couple of days. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for how I dealt with points. I was feeling jealous and insecure and took it out on you. You deserved improved.”

The motive here isn’t as clear as the very first two examples, so a bit of back and forth will be needed. It’ll usually go 1 of two strategies. Either she’s producing this apology because she desires to be with you and knows it’s a needed step to get there.

Otherwise, she’s just becoming open about the progress she’s created and wants you to know.

Although it’s most usually the very first a single, take the time to go over it with her to be certain. Thank her for the message and explanation and pay close attention to her tone in the subsequent couple of replies.

Anger or aggravation

We’ve all received this a single from an ex at some point and it can be a lot to deal with. Perhaps she saw a photo of you with an additional woman on Facebook and drew some assumptions.

She could have even spent the final hour speaking about you with her mates and wants to vent. Whatever the case, you’re now on the receiving end of some anger and frustration.

Example: “Nice to see it took you all of five days to get over our connection and start off fucking somebody else. I hope she’s worth it.”

When your ex texts you with some thing like this, I’d recommend taking some time prior to you reply. Your 1st reaction might be to bite back which only leads to a messy and pointless argument. Clearly she also requires a minute to calm down too.

How you respond depends on irrespective of whether or not you’re comfortable explaining anything. With the instance above, maybe an innocent photo with a coworker set her off. Explaining that to her is the fastest way to defuse the scenario.

But then once again, you’re no longer together, so you’re below no obligation to clarify your self. In this case, you can ignore her to save oneself from her accusations.

The casual brag

Breakups have a tendency to bring up a lot of insecurities. Some individuals pick out to deal with this by overcompensating–by pretending their life is wonderful and items have in no way been far better.

If your ex is casually bragging in her messages, it is almost certainly coming from a location of insecurity. Rather than showing herself as weak or struggling with the breakup, she desires to appear entirely fine.

It can be difficult to deal with occasionally, as though she genuinely did just move on from everything nearly right away. Just remember that in most circumstances it is quite the opposite, this is just her coping mechanism.

Instance: “How was your weekend? Hope you are undertaking okay. I’m so sunburned, I just got back from Hawaii!”

It could possibly be tempting to get in touch with her out on it or compete with her, but that will only commence an argument. Instead, I’d suggest just rolling with it. Ask her about her trip to be polite and leave it at that.

So long as you are not purchasing into the complete “my life is great” facade, she’ll normally drop it very promptly.

Texting you is nevertheless a habit

This kind of text is a lot more risky than most of us understand for the reason that of its subtlety. She’s just texting you with basic conversation as though you are still collectively and you may even respond in the same way.

Prior to you know it, you’re each acting like you’re collectively, yet you’re nonetheless apart. This makes for a lot of confusion and miscommunication. Additional generally than not, it ends with one individual having hurt all over once again: “Everything seemed fine now all of a sudden you nonetheless don’t want to be with me?”

This variety of message will normally be anything pretty casual as though all the things was fine.

Example: “Hey! How was your weekend? Did you end up going hiking?”

How you deal with these sorts of messages depends on what you want in the future. If you want friendship or a connection, it is okay to have general chit-chat now and then. Just make positive you set clear boundaries early.

, it’s time to say just that. Anything along the lines of “Hey, my weekend was superior. I’m sorry, but with the way items ended I feel we’re better off not speaking.”

This way you each know where you stand and you aren’t stringing her along for weeks or even months.

When your ex texts you, “You up?”

This 1 is a classic that just had to make the list. The “You up?” message is generally late at night, typically on a Friday or Saturday. It may possibly also come with a typo to clue you in on how considerably she’s had to drink.

Though some variables may perhaps modify, the translation is normally the exact same–“Are you awake, alone and want to have sex ideal now?”

While it could be tempting, sleeping with your ex is by no means a fantastic idea. Ever.

Ignore the text until the subsequent morning, then inform her you don’t want to blur your boundaries by sleeping collectively. You’ll thank me later.

So what does it imply when an ex texts you? It depends on the context, the type of breakup you had and in some cases, the time when she texted.

If you’re nonetheless feeling uneasy about all of this, that’s completely normal. She’s your ex and the emotions about the breakup make issues messy.

Now that you know how you ought to be responding, perform via that discomfort. Make confident you handle it effectively when your ex texts you.

Tempting as it could be to take the straightforward way out, it only ends up dragging items on that a lot longer. Over time, it will get less complicated and you’ll be content you dealt with it the proper way.